I wrote an article for Motherzing Magazine, a publication aimed at delivering information, and inspiration around an active lifestyle and wellbeing aimed at Mums, New Mums, and Mums-to-be. The article was about how I lost and found my identity as a Mum.
Read on for the full scoop.
I lost and re-found my identity after becoming a mum.
Before I had kids I had this idea that I didn’t want to lose myself to motherhood, after
becoming a mum I held onto my old identity as tightly as I could. This started with my first
child and by my second I didn’t really know who I was any more. Looking back I was
struggling with the transition to motherhood.
It really impacted my mental health, wellbeing and ability to cope. This drove me to question who I was.
I made time for myself to explore my inner world. I found solace, stillness,
connection with nature, journaling and a mix of therapy and coaching.
The more time and attention I gave to my inner world and feelings, I detached from the
thoughts, patterns and beliefs I didn’t need any more. I found my new identity. It’s almost
like my heart cracked and released all that was constricting it. Now I feel happy, freer and
more connected to myself than ever.
You might not spend much time consciously thinking about your identity but it affects your
life on a daily basis. Knowing who you are helps you live with purpose, with confidence and
contributes to good emotional wellbeing.
Identity includes our beliefs, ethics, values, style, race, gender, sexuality, personality, likes
and dislikes. It’s shaped by our memories, experiences, background and relationships.
Your values are a huge part of your identity and can help you recognise what matters most to you and help you make important decisions. Digging into these values and getting to know yourself on a deeper level will involve some quality time alone. Trying things like journaling and spending time in nature can help guide this discovery.
Your identity evolves throughout your life and as your roles change. It’s worth thinking about every now and then, especially as a parent. If this resonates with you, know that it’s quite normal. You’re not falling apart, you’re transforming into something different with a new capacity to be brilliant and beautiful. Just like nature, we have to let go to grow.
If you're seeing yourself whilst you're reading this, I'd love to help you through this.
Take a look at:
My Values article and worksheet can help you.
My blog on Identity
If you'd love some 1:1 support through coaching to really deep dive into who you're becoming, I may be the coach for you. Take a look at my Empower and Transform package.